I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
it's not cheating when I paid for it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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