He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
