You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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