Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
