is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
