Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
