Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
