dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
