I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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