I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
