Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize