My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
