hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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