I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
