everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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