Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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