eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
