so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
