Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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