1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
