You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
