Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
