mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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