so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
