Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I am one with the molecules
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
