we have officially lost it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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