...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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