Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
