Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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