I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
