i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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