You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My feet surprised me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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