From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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