I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
