Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
