Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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