The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
