making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
