so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
