my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
