You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
