then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The ass gains better be worth it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
