Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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