I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
