I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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