woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Randomize
