did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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