I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
