Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
