My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
