You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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